Taking on a New Name



So there are such idiosyncratic things about getting married. Things you probably never fantasized about as a little girl when you saw yourself in a big white dress, things your mind probably couldn't even comprehend at such an age.

Take for example, the name change. Such a romantic idea right? I will be folded into the arms of my new family, my first name soon to be cozied up against the surname their family has carried for millenia, marking me as part of their clan.

Which is true. And I'm waiting with great anticipation for this name cozying to occur.

On the other hand, I'm facing a bit of an identity crisis. On paper, I will not be the person I have been for the last 25 years. No matter how you slice it, hyphenate it, middle-name-your-maiden-name it, I won't be Rachel ____ ________ anymore. And it feels a little strange.

Guys, they pop out a ring, they put it on your hand, and then they sit back to taste some wedding cake and catering samples when asked (ok I'm being a bit dramatic, the bf has been amazing in all the planning, heart you bf!).They're still comfortably propped up by the name that has known them since birth, and so they contentedly snack away. Us girls, we are expected to do something only otherwise associated with a life of crime. That is, to become an AKA.

An AKA. It sounds so mysterious and exciting. And I am mysteriously excited about my new last name and all the meaning it brings with it. I just want to point out to all the girls out there, doodling in your notebooks. Writing his name, your name, both names. Circling these names and writing his last name, forever joining you in pink ink.

When you actually reach the stage when its real, your feelings can be more complicated than any doodles in a notebook could explain. Unless that is, you are a reaallly talented doodler.

Dramatic points aside, I found something that might ease this transition a bit. A simple thing that started this whole thought process in my mind.

A cute little clay pocket totem from HandyMaiden on Etsy. An object to be an emblem of our family ancestry (apparently that's one definition of a totem is according to my good friend Webster).

What? A little pocket Ocelot all my own to carry around with me?

Peace out last name, it's been nice knowing ya'

1 comments:

DiamondsandTulle | January 24, 2012 at 1:01 PM

Hey Rachel, I totally understand what you mean. I wrote a little about it before once..
"Personally, I had a lot of weirdness with changing my last name,
and hung on to it until probably the 1 1/2 yr mark.
Saying it was very awkward. Using it, more so.
It felt like I was giving up myself to become a wife.
But, gradually, slowly, and unconsciously, BEING a wife became natural."
And I think with that, "taking his name" became more natural too. It doesn't sound strange anymore. I still couldn't bear to lose my name/my identity of 20+ years, so I deleted my old middle name and legally changed my maiden name to be my middle name. So I still have the best of both worlds!

Post a Comment

If you like my blog-ey, and you think it's sex-y, come on sugar let me know